Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Relationship is hard eh ?

I didnt write this but - I feel him.
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If there's one thing that really bothers me about people, it's our need to make others bend to our will. What is that anyway? I mean look at all the "issues" that are out there - when you bottom line it, it's nothing more than someone trying to force someone else to see things their way. Take teenage pregnancy for example. If some girl out in Fargo, Wisconsin decides to give the high school football team a *really* good motivational speech...and as a result, gets pregnant...what the hell do I care? Not like I know the girl, the guy, or the resulting baby (or ten). At best, maybe I'll see them all briefly on Jerry Springer as I'm channel surfing. But there are people out there who get entirely worked up over it. What do you care? How does the decisions others make in their personal lives affect your happiness and well-being.

I guess I'm just disturbed because of a decision I've made in my life that people are trying to talk me out of. I'm quitting. That's right, I've had all I can stand, I can stand no more. I'm throwing in the towel. Raising the white flag. Conceeding. I know when I'm licked. And basically, it's time for me to retreat into my shell; close myself off emotionally from everyone, so I can't get hurt again. What am I quitting, you may ask?

Why, I'm quitting women, of course.

This should come as no surprise to you, if you've read anything else on this site. I mean, I had sort of stopped trying before, but now I'm really out. I can't deal with women and the games anymore. You think they're interested in you, and you ask them out on a date, only to have her respond "eh" when you suggest you should see each other more ofter (yes, that is a true story, and oh, don't even get me started on it). Or you think they're interested, you ask them out on a date, only to have them invite other friends and then act all surprised when you go to pay for dinner (again, a true story). Or, you ask them on a date and you come to find out she isn't thinking of it as a date at all.

So now, my stance on women is, and you may have heard me say this before: fuck it entirely. I don't need this grief. I put my feelings out there and I get burned. I don't put my feelings out there and I get burned. Shit, I'm getting burned while I'm at home watching TV. I'm getting burned while I'm sleeping in class. I'm getting burned while I'm driving back and forth between Jack in the Box. And I've been burned so many times I'm starting to get numb. So I don't want to deal with it anymore. I don't need or want a girlfriend, or even deal with women. I don't trust them.

And I'm fine with that. In fact, I think it's great! Sounds like a good plan to me. But to the people I've told about this, they think it's all wrong. "You're quitting", they say (no shit, I just told you that), I shouldn't be so bitter over a few bad experiences. I should let go. Get up, dust myself off, try again. Get back in the saddle. Or some of that other sappy inspirational shit that just makes you want to choke someone.

Why won't they leave me alone? I know I'm quitting, I know I'm bitter, I know I'm holding a grudge over bad experiences. I don't care. I'm doing what I want to do that'll make me happy. Because if I take another girl out on a date, only to have her invite friends to come along or respond with "eh", I'm going to go absofuckinglutely insane, and it will not be pretty. So my decision works for the benefit of everyone.

A few bad experiences? You're damn right. You know what that tells me? STOP DOING IT!! I'd call getting bludgeoned with a baseball bat a "bad experience", but that doesn't mean keep doing it until it becomes enjoyable. I'd also call snowboarding a "bad experience", but that's sort of an inside joke.

If a girl is showing signs that she's interested in me, or even if she jumps on my head in the middle of a class, I'm not going to do a damned thing. I want no part of it. I'm tired of playing the game - trying to figure out if she's interested, trying to communicate my possible interest, all that shit. So I'm not doing it anymore. And if I miss out on a hundred girls who actually do have a passing interest in me, I don't care. If I am meant to be with someone, she won't need any of this shit. She'll get to know me for who I am, then after a while of earning each other's trust and respect, she'll come to me and tell me how she feels and we'll go from there.

And while I'm dreaming, I'd like a pony.

(You get a cookie if you can figure out where that quote comes from)

Yeah fucking right. That's never going to happen. No no, women have to complicated the entire damned process, and then come crying to me asking "Why is it so complicated?" And there isn't a smiley I could use here that could effectively portray my frustration and rage at this point. You'd start with this =( and add some fucked up shit to it, like storm clouds over his head, maybe that bulging vein in his temples, and a semi-automatic for good measure. I want to be bitter. I like it. And if that makes me the crazy old man with a really mean pit bull that throws things at kids when they pass by his lawn, fine. Great. If you're lucky, I may throw candy, and a few pieces might actually not be coated in rat poison.

The important thing is, this is the choice I've made. Don't try to talk me out of it or give me some inspirational shit. Save that shit for Oprah. Let me do what I need to do to make myself happy, and I'll let you do the same...even if it means wanting to give some jerk a handjob just so that he'll pay more attention to you. You think.

Here, have a Tootsie Roll. 3

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Alas ! Poor man ! My friends....pity him not, for he has found his peace.

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