Friday, August 10, 2007

FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions

A compilation of 1o favorite questions Jono gets asked the most (In no particular order).

Do you have a girlfriend ?
No. But I like girls! They come in many shapes, sizes, colors, races, proportions, backgrounds and virtues! So far I have no strings attached to a single one. Yet. "Just friends."

Why do you have so many gay encounters?

I wish I knew. I can only draw a few hypothesis/theories so far...

1.) I am a pretty person *million dollar smile*.
2.) My pheromones, hormones that are supposed to attract the opposite sex, is screwed up and is attracting those of the same sex...
3.) Mr. Cupid hates me and has been deliberately shooting love arrows at gay men, and then sit back and enjoy watching them mercilessly seducing and attacking Jono. Either that, or he needs serious practice at aiming those love arrows of his...
4.) I hang around girls too much, and thus gay men take it that I am gay?
5.) I am being a jerk to women and a nice guy to men (thanks Isabelle).
6.) I was gay in my previous life.
7.) All of the above.

How/Where did you get your nick name, Jono ?
Peishern. We met in college and had a fling. She showed me all her 'moves', and I showed her all my 'moves', then, we broke up. Kidding. She later on took me as a pet, threw me a bone and went, "Jono! Fetch!" From then on, everyone scratched the back of my ear, rubbed my stomach, and called out "Jono, good boy, Jono!" They loved Jono. Jono was happy.

Who is this girl that Jono allegedly fell head over heels with ?

Owwhh!! *blush*Stumbles*Nose Bleeds*Faints*

Jono! Do you wanna come clubbing with us tonight ?
There are easier ways to end our friendship, okay ?

Did you straighten your hair ?
This question has been asked all the time when I go for my haircut and also by my aussie friends. Nope. I did not straighten my hair. My parents both have nice straight hair. Girls get envious at times too, I know.

Do you like me ?
Answers vary from people to people and gender to gender. Let me give you a few...

1.) Yes, of course! I find you very interesting and friendship with you has been really enriching and fun. I always look forward to meeting and chatting with you. Yes I like you. (Said with sarcasm or not, its up to you)
2.) "Yeah! Lets hang out more !"
3.) "Ewww! Go away!"
4.) "No. No. No. Noway."
5.) "Maybe?"
6.) *hair raising wink*
7.) "Am I supposed to !?"
8.) Yes, I like you.
9.) None of the above. I do not know you.

How are you?
Aha...I knew this was coming !
(Thinks "basic courtesy") I'm fine, thank you! And you ?

I'm sorry, did I wake you up ?

They normally ask when calling at 3 am or 4 am...what can I say ? Quite a stupid question actually...

"Oh hi! Nah, you didn't wake me up. I just got back from drinking booze with 300 my good Spartan friends and Homer Simpson. I also had some crack with Lindsay Lohan on the way back. Yea? And I was just reading an article about two middle-aged lesbians taking a visit to the African tribes...You thought I was sleeping ? Well, YES I WAS FWEAKING SLEEPING!"

No comments: