Last week on Kelly....
Episode 1 - At The Lockers
Episode 2 - Attack of the Cheenas
After being poked so much in Disted, other than developing FingerSense™, I have also developed a quick thinking reflex for escape routes. All year long, I have kept my eyes open for these two, and when I catch sight of them, I quickly determine and analyze all possible options of escape routes then make my escape. I had evolved to escape predators of my social life. Oh, and I'm not going to reveal their names. Lets call them... Cina1 and Cina2.
I turned to Kelly with a serious face.
"I want you to know, theres certain areas of my life that I'm not too fond of, but I really hope bad English humors you."
She gave me a blank stare. "What?"
"You'll see," I said, wide-eyed and sarcastic.
She kept starting at me blankly.
Two of them were still making their way through the crowd of midday rush and approaching fast. As they neared, I see both of them wearing caps. I slapped my hand to my forehead.
"Gosh, Jono, what!?"
I turned to Kelly again, looking worried.
"Please tell me I'm not wearing a cap?!"
"Umm... No you aren't, Jono." She was still lost.
"Let's see if you understand them..." was all I could say.
"Hi, hi Jono!!!" My heart skipped a beat. No, two. Maybe more. I cringed.
"Where was you? We was looking for you man!" came an enthusiastic call.
I felt more embarrassed than the time my maid caught me naked in the bathroom when I forgot to lock the door.
"Hi guys, how're you doing?" I said trying my best to smile.
I patronize them allot.
"Good good! You eat lunch?! Yummy! Lasagna nice oh! Very nice!" Cina1 blabbered.
Meanwhile Cina2 took a glance at Kelly, turned to me and unintelligently asked "Your girlfriend ah?"
I could've flung my lasagna into his face or stuffed his mouth with wedges...
"No. Fiance." I joked and peeked at Kelly. She giggled.
Cina2 turned to Cina1 and asked in Chinese "Whats a fiance?!"
Cina 1 shrugged.
He then turned to me with a blank face. "Fiance is what?"
I realized...There is no such thing as stupid questions, it's just the people.
Well, Ill give them a stupid answer.
"It's a type of duck." I said as a matter of factly. Kelly burst out laughing.
Cina1 and Cina2 looked at me blankly. I felt a tinge of guilt. Usually I just accommodate their cheena-ness but nuh-uh. Not in front of Kelly.
"Umm, I will talk to you next time okay?" I told them nicely. Maybe too nicely. I sounded like I was talking to a 6 year old kid. Patronizing, really.
You dont wanna join us. You don't wanna join us. You don't wanna join us! I kept thinking.
"Err...ok. See yous next times okay?"Cina2 said, almost sounding like a girlfriend making her boyfriend promise to call her when he got home.
"Sure, buddy. See ya." I said, still sounding like I was talking to a kid.
OMG, they LEFT!
Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...
Seriously. Someone should start a Cheena Protection Program where they'd educate potential Cheena victims and equip them so that they'd be prepared to fend off or protect themselves against Cheenas together with a counseling program for those who have been mentally and spiritually traumatized by them.
I looked at Kelly. She was grinning.
"What!?" I asked. \
"Oh nothing, I was imagining you in a cap." She teased.
"Oh, you should've seen the first time they wore a cap like I usually did. Life shortening, I tell you!"
I explained to her how they're okay as friends but can be really embarrassing at times.
Putting that aside, we then had a casual chat about embarrassing friends, studies, holiday plans, sports, hobbies, lecturers, music, tv programs,friends and what not. An hour passed. Then another. We chatted for about two hours.
"Hey, Jono, this has been great but I've got this 2000 word paper that is due tomorrow and I've only done about half of it, so I gota run..."She sounded disappointed.
"Someone's been procrastinating!" I said.
"I know! Its really gay, hey." She muttered.
"Well, you better go and get your work done eh ?"
She got up from her seat. "I will" she said smilling.
I got up to see her off. Gentleman's gesture.
"I'll see you around Jono." She said, giving me that smile she first gave me the lockers. Deja Vu.
"Sure. See you Kelly." I smiled back.
She came over and gave me a hug. It was more of an embrace, actually. It isn't one of those half-hugs that makes you feel like you've been given loose change. It was one of those full on hugs that I really liked.
"See you!" she said before slinging her bag over her shoulders and jogged off.
You can imagine how I felt standing there...
Then it hit me. I failed to deliver that finishing 'move'!
Jono's Brain: Oi Jono! You didn't ask for a number nor email! You dense or what?!
Jono: Omigosh! You're completely right! Our timetables really different! How am I gonna meet her again!!?
Jono's Brain: Oi, Heart, say something!"
Jono's Heart: Kelly... Kelly... Kelly ...Kelly... Kelly....Dear sweet Kelly...
Jono's Brain: Shit! Heart is totally stoned...
Jono: That hug just blew him over the edge. Give him a break...
Jono's Brain: Look, I'm the boss here. Chase her. Just like in the movies. You catch up to her, panting and ask for her number, okay?! Lets go. Move it. Legs!!!
Jono's Eyes: I don't know man, she's pretty far already...We wont be in time.
Jono's Legs: Yea! And dude! I was working 3 hours in the lab standing and walking around campus. I'm afraid I'm spent man. I'm sick of you ordering me around, okay?
Jono's Brain: This is bullshit man. We've blown it. Disappointing!
Jono's Penis: Yea man! When are you gonna get me-
Everyone: You stay out!!!
Jono: Look, guys, I tried my best okay?
Jono:Okay, maybe not THE best. But I did try, okay. I did pretty well too so cut me some slack people!
Jono's Wits: Hey guys, wanna hear my new comeback for stupid questions?!
Jono: Please, not now, Wits.
Jono's Stomach:Hey guys, I'm done working on the lasagna and wedges. Can we go home now? Besides, its almost dinner time...
Jono's Brain: Not it isn't, you fat ass!
Jono: Okay, chill guys! Lets just go home...
Up and coming sequel...
Kelly. A second chance.